Remembering Bob Lally

Robert "Bob" Lally, my cousin Nancy's husband, died in Cleveland Heights, OH, January 12th, 2008, of Parkinson's (from which he suffered for over 20 years), at home, surrounded by family and friends. He was one of those larger-than-life individuals who grace our lives every so often, "the gift unbidden," in Frost's words, enriching us, making us better. An unforgettable character in mine, he was 79.
His life in many ways was the stuff of legend. Not a big man, he played high school football, a lineman, and his team never lost. At Notre Dame again, still not a large man, a mere 185 pounds compared to the 300-pound-plus behemoths of today, he played under another legend, Frank Leahy. And again, his team never lost a game in the years he was the starting guard, 25 wins at Cathedral and 38 at Notre Dame, 63 straight victories in all, winning for him an entry in Ripley's "Believe it or Not." He deserved it.
Did I mention that he captained both the football and track teams his senior year in high school and was the salutatorian at graduation there .Not too shabby, as a later generation might put it. Still, his adult life only beginning, the promise was already there for all to see.
After graduating from Notre Dame, he continued on at South Bend to take a law degree and practiced the law for a time in Cleveland. He found it "too slow" for the things he wanted to accomplish and went to work for his dad's company, Norton Brothers roofing, eventually heading the company as co-owner and president for 40 years.
He married Betty Koch and together they had 11 children before she died of an asthma attack. My Cleveland cousin Nancy about this time had lost her husband, Ron, leaving her with four children and an uncertain future. Bob and Nance met at a Parents Without Partners group, one thing led to another and they married in 1966, brave souls that they were. Fortunately Bob had a large, 15-room house and Nancy and her brood moved in. The following year, Jennifer Lally was born, making an even 16 kiddos in all. How they did it I'll never know, but suffice it to say that when my wife, dear Frances, my college sweetheart, died of a brain tumor in 1973, our second year in Amherst leaving me with five children, ages five to fifteen, Nancy and Bob served as inspirations. If they could do it, so could we, once I found a woman brave enough to take on my menagerie.(Fran had encouraged me to marry and I did so less than a year after her death.)
Marie Frisardi, the first woman hired at Boston Latin, herself the mother of two boys, was brave enough (foolish enough?) to say yes and we've been married now 35 years next December. It's been a roller coaster ride, with more ups than downs fortunately, but never dull. My gang are all UMass grads, all married, two to their UMie classmates, all parents and home owners, the three boys own their own businesses. I may be biased but I believe they received really good educations at UMass. One sign of this: the caliber of the friends they brought home during their college years and another, how well they've done, professionally and personally since graduation. We have 11 grandchildren from this group and these kids, no doubt about it, make life worth living for Grandpa and Grammy.
Marie's sons are both married, one a lawyer in Boston, the other an editor/poet/teacher in Orvieto, Italy where he and his wife have lived for the past nine years.The Boston Frisardi's have three children, making 14 grandkids in all, the eldest, a recent Princeton grad.
Back to Bob Lally. My favorite memory of him is this: When I taught at Ohio State,1968-71, he and Nancy came down to Columbus for an OSU-Purdue football game. The stadium holds close to 100,000 fans, most of them OSU rooters. For some strange reason known only to him and God, Bob that cold winter day decided to root for Purdue, perhaps because Notre Dame is also in Indiana also and perhaps too because Nancy did not attend the game that day. At first I thought we, sitting around this football idolator were going to be tarred and feathered before the game was over. It wasn't long, however, before Bob had those initially hostile fans eating out of his hand. They soon realized that he was simply having some good-natured fun, was not at heart a real Purdue fan and was merely trying to make this lopsided game a bit more interesting for one and all. That he did and by game's end--not an exaggeration--they had all come to be won over by him, just as we, his family, did. Is love too strong a word? I think not, so lovable was he, and charming, an Irish storyteller with a bit of the "debbil" in him, all of these.We couldn't help ourselves. Could I have pulled that off? No way, Jose.
This little story is yet another reason that I have missed him since I attended his funeral earlier this week in Cleveland. At the Offertory procession, his grandkids brought up the gifts, all 38 of them, many of them unabashedly weeping, and coincidentally as luck would have it, the same number as his Notre Dame wins.There were few dry eyes in the church, including two of my kids', a son and daughter who joined me in Cleveland.
Bob, you set the bar high for those of us left behind. We'll do our best to live up to your high standards, but it won't be easy.
When I think of your life, I think of Marc Antony's words over the fallen Caesar, "This was a man. When comes such another?"
Rest in peace, dear brother, rest in eternal peace.